Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Life is what happens..........

People achieve success only by taking risks or chances, not by careful planning.

There is a common phrase that says, “Life is what happens when you are busy making plans.”  I believe this saying to the fullest, and I try to remind myself of it daily.  This saying reminds me that we can plan, and plan, and plan but inevitably, something is bound to happen to hinder our plans, and we are forced to make a “plan B”.  For example, I had so many plans for my life!  The night of my high school graduation, if you asked me what my plans were for the future, I would have told you that as of that July, I was moving to Keller, TX to be a nanny for a couple and attending community college to pursue a degree in Business.  I was going to become Dance Master certified and eventually open my own dance studio.  After my studio had been established, I would consider marriage and family.  Oh, I had it all planned out.  Did any of that happen?  NO.
 I did move to Keller, TX, and I did become a nanny for a couple with three beautiful children and a habit for not liking each other.  I was there for the summer, but drew the line and called my parents to come get me when I was awakened one Monday morning to screaming and banging down stairs.  I got the baby and went down to the kitchen to discover the husband had the wife pinned to the wall by her throat.  All this was happening while their four year old son and two year old daughter watched.  I was horrified.  This is not what I had planned, but God had a reason for putting me there.  I got the kids safely upstairs and the couple went to church to counsel with their pastor.  I packed my things and my folks were there that very evening to take me home. I struggled with leaving those precious babies, but I knew my God was watching over them, keeping them safe.  The couple divorced and the children grew up to be wonderful teenagers.  They live with their mom and step father in Memphis where they are happy and very well taken care of.  None of this was in my plans for my future and I began to feel cheated, but I gathered my thoughts, and set out to make another plan for my life.  I took a job as an assistant teacher for a dance studio in Bartlesville, OK.  I was there for about a year when I broke my foot and ended up having a major surgery which ended my dance career for more than a year.  To say I was devastated was a major understatement.  I found myself living back at home, jobless, not dancing, and broken. 
After my therapy, I worked several mall jobs never really enjoying life and constantly feeling as if I had failed in some major way.  What about my plans?  Where did I go wrong?  What if I had just “toughed it out” in Texas?  Would I be doing what I always wanted?  I decided that I’d had enough of the “what if’s” and I made up my mind to go to college.  I looked into tuition, and was flabbergasted…..there was no way I could afford this on my own, and no way possible my parents could either.  After endless research and scholarship applications, I decided the best thing to do was join the Navy.  So I did.  But wait…..this wasn’t in my plan!  Maybe not, but I was taking a chance and stepping out in faith that this would help me achieve my ultimate goal of getting my degree and opening my own studio. 
So, off I went to the United States Navy.  I spent four and a half years serving my country and seeing the world and honestly, it was the very best thing I could ever have done for myself!  After leaving the Navy, I moved back home and enrolled in college.  I had decided to become a dental assistant and work through getting my business degree.  Half way through dental school, my boyfriend and I decided to make it official and get married.  One problem, he wanted me to quit school.  Uh oh….this was not in my plan, but I had changed plans before and I was becoming used to putting my plans aside to let life happen, so I did.  BIG MISTAKE.  Not only did I quit school, but the marriage only lasted two months and here I was back at home with my parents and not a thing in the world that was mine. 
It wasn’t long before I was back out there working my tail off for what seemed like pennies, single and getting dangerously close to turning 30.  I went to work selling cars, if you can imagine that, and met who I thought was one of the coolest guys I had ever met.  We began dating and before I knew it I was pregnant.  Once again, this was not part of any of my plans!  Things got really bad between me and boyfriend, and here I went back home to Mommy and Daddy, soon to be Nana and Papa.  I kept reminding myself that even though this may not have been in my plans, it was definitely in God’s plan for my life, and I accepted it with an open heart.  At the age of 28, I became mommy to my precious daughter.  I had gone to work for a local chiropractor and I am still working there.  I enrolled in college when she was a month old and I am still working on my degree.  I don’t have a ton of money and we are still living at “Nana and Papa’s” house, but you know, we are happy and healthy and she is amazing!  She was exactly what I needed and she came at exactly the right moment.
I told you all of that just to say this, success is measured in many different ways.  There are successful planners and there are successful risk takers.  It takes a healthy mix of both to keep this big world turning.  You can’t ONLY take risks and be successful, nor can you ONLY plan and be successful.  Some risks you take fall apart, and some plans you make fall through.  Life is not just about planning or taking risks, it is about having faith in yourself that no matter what happens on the other side of the risk or plan you will be ok.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

If You Can't Say Anything Nice

Come sit by me!!!
This has got to be one of my favorite lines in a movie.......period.  If you're not familiar (you should be) with this line.....its from one of my all time favorite movies, Steel Magnolias.  
This movie is about the trials and tribulations of 6 women from the south as they go through life, marriage, bringing new life into the world, and watching a life come to an end.  Most women I know can quote this movie line for line, and I'm not ashamed to admit, I am one of them.  It makes me wonder though, just how many women do we know that are like the characters in this movie?  Just how do you inherit the title of "Steel Magnolia?"
I believe all women are delicate, beautiful and capable of anything in the world.  But lets take a minute and break down the name "Steel Magnolia."  The definition of the word "steel" in the noun form is "A hard, strong, gray or bluish-gray alloy of iron with carbon and usually other elements, used extensively as a structural and fabricating material."  The verb form is "Mentally prepare (oneself) to do or face something difficult." (google.com)
I bet you know a few women who are "tough as steel."  I know I do.  
Let's take a look at the word, "magnolia."  As we all know, magnolia is a flower that grows on a tree.  Creamy and delicate, this flower is by far my favorite flower in the world!   
When you combine the two, you get the definition of a woman who never loses her femininity, remaining soft and delicate, yet resilient, ready to face the world and all it has coming at her.  God's most brilliant creation.  Quite a few ladies I know fit this description to a tee.
I think as women, we should all strive to be "Steel Magnolias."  We should remain soft, delicate and beautiful, but we should also take all life has to throw at us in stride.  There is nothing wrong with being tough, but if you let the tough parts of life get to you, you become "hard" and not at all magnolia-like.  I'm not saying lay down and become life's door mat, but there is a fine line between steel magnolia and just steel that we should not cross.
I say we make a pact as women to try to never cross this line, as tempting as it may be at times with so much adversity coming at us these days, and preserve our femininity.  Ladies, we are beautiful and perfect creatures created by a God who obviously knows what he is doing!  Lets honor Him by staying that way!  
You have my word, from this moment forward, I will strive to remain a Steel Magnolia!!  Now, who's with me?